Dez Bryant Signs Contract So He Can Holdout

What's he running towards? Dollar bills.

Dez Bryant became the first 2010 first-round pick in the NFL to sign a contract Thursday when he inked a deal with the Dallas Cowboys, reportedly for nearly $12-million over 5 years.  With $8.3 million guaranteed, Bryant is set to risk his body on a weekly basis in the fall for a base salary of $320-thousand.  Considering he’s the 24th pick in the draft, the contract is fairly reasonable.  Considering he’s a big-time talent at wide-receiver, a position notorious for breeding egotistic assholes divas, the contract ensures he’ll have a new contract before he plays a down in the 2011 season.

I honestly can’t understand why either side would agree to a 5-year deal.  Bryant and his agent and the Cowboys know that if Dez performs up to expectations, he’ll be demanding more money immediately.  And if he underwhelms, the Cowboys likely won’t want him around for five years, even at the discounted rate.  But then again, they seem perfectly willing to let Roy Williams steal money from them, so maybe they won’t care.

In my opinion, Bryant is about as likely to play out this contract as his quarterback is to get back together with that beast who ate Jessica Simpson.  It’s unlikely is the point I’m trying to convey.

By the way, Roy Williams signed a 5-year extension with Dallas when he was acquired from Detroit in 2008.  That new deal guarantees him $20-million over the life of the contract.  That means, before any bonuses that Williams almost assuredly misses out on, he makes about $67-thousand per reception.  That also means he’ll out earn Dez Bryant’s annual salary when he makes his fifth reception.  Seems fair to me.

If I was Dez, I’d be swimming in poon and I’d take great pleasure in walking around with my shirt off.  Oh, also I’d holdout when Roy made his fifth catch because of principle.  So that means Dez should holdout after week 9.  Because Roy Williams is terrible.  Get it?

Tags: Dallas Cowboys, Dez Bryant, football, NFL, Roy Williams

1 Comment to Dez Bryant Signs Contract So He Can Holdout

LtShineySides
July 26, 2010

Dez Bryant ate Jessica Simpson and Roy Williams is poor. I get it.

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