Nothing Could Be Fina’ Than Whores In Carolina

Look for their next release, "Debbie Does Carolina"

Charlotte’s elite are being named left and right in a prostitution ring and now the investigation is reportedly encroaching on the Carolina Panthers roster.  Check out Pro Football Talk for the full story.

The HushHush call-girl ring has already brought down two business men and the rumor is that at least one Panther was shelling out Benjamins for blow jobs also.  The list of names won’t be coming out for a bit, so we’re left to wonder which Panther would be most likely to pay for sex. 

The obvious choice would be Nick Goings.  I don’t know why but I can picture him in a black and white security tape soliciting a prostitute.  Maybe it’s because I can tell the future and I’ve dreamed it, or maybe it’s because running backs who don’t get to play also don’t get no play.  See what I did there?

You could also make a case for Jake Delhomme.  After his terrible performance in the playoffs, would it be that much of a stretch to imagine he was off his game because of a long night of banging out dried up sluts? 

Whoever it turns out to be, I’m sure they’ll never see a day of jail time and the incident will get sweeped under the rug.  Until an ill-fated highlight when Chris Berman loses his mind and refers to Brad “How much for a Carolina” Hoover.

Tags: Brad Hoover, Carolina Panthers, Jake Delhomme, NFL, Nick Goings

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