Anquan Boldin Can Explain

Everyone please listen, there's a bomb in section... screw it I'm out

The Steelers and Cardinals are playing in the Super Bowl and I couldn’t be more disappointed.  Do I really have to choose between Kurt Warner and Troy Polamalu?  That’s like trying to decide between a fat girl or an ugly girl, or choosing to vacation in either Vietnam or Ethiopia.  This Super Bowl sucks before we’ve even gotten to the 2 weeks of filler stories leading up to it. 

The story that seems the most prevalent after yesterday’s conference championship games is Anquan Boldin’s tantrumon the sidelines that led to his skipping of the post-game celebration.  Many around the ‘nets are condemning Boldin for his actions, using words like “selfish”, “childish” and “flaccid”, but I’m sure there’s an explanation.

Anquan may have drafted himself in a post-season fantasy football league and was disappointed that he hadn’t scored enough to beat the guy who drafted Larry Fitzgerald.  See, he’s just really competitive… hates to lose.

Maybe he promised a dying child that he’d score a touchdown for him against the Eagles.  After the game he had to rush out of the stadium to make sure he hadn’t killed the kid.

Maybe he and Larry are competing for the same Cardinals’ groupie and he thought his poor performance had sealed the deal.  He was too heartbroken to hang around and see her and Fitz together. 

He could’ve placed a major wager on Philly and had to bolt before the bookie caught up to him.  Could fight crime in his spare time, be a volunteer firefighter or be mortally afraid of confetti. 

Whatever the truth is, I’m sure it explains Anquan’s behavior.  Wait did I mention he could just be a huge asshole?

Tags: Anquan Boldin, Arizona Cardinals, football, Larry Fitzgerald, NFL, Philadelphia Eagles, Pittsburgh Steelers, Super Bowl, Troy Polamalu

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