Tony Romo Too Good for Fatties/Discretion

"What's Up Ladies... My Fat Shit Girlfriend is Outta town..."

 So Star Magazine is reporting that hours after Jessica Simpson waddled onto a plane going somewhere to do whatever it is dumb fat girls do, Tony Romo had some TV stars and ladies over to her house.  They say he then made out “with a long haired, olive-skinned cutie” upstairs while everyone was talking about what a bad quarterback boyfriend he was downstairs.

Now I generally don’t believe anything out of tabloid magazines unless they have something to do with crop circles or Bigfoot.  But I find this very believable.  Nothing tells your lady to lose weight like making it with a hot exotic babe in her own house.   But because Star is generally full of crap that I don’t care about, here’s a rundown of what seems legit, and what doesn’t seem so legit about this story:

Legit:  Jessica Simpson looks more like John Travolta from Hairspray than like Jessica Simpson these days.  Tony Romo will obviously have hot girls (that aren’t Dallas Cowboys fans) throwing themselves at him pretty much all the time, so sooner or later it’s bound to happen.

Not Legit:  They mention throughout the story that Romo kept calling it “his house.”  Why the fuck would anyone ever do that?  Can you imagine how a retard like Jessica Simpson decorates her house?  I think only Troy Aikman could pull that one off.  And even if Tony was upstairs with a hot chick, who says he wasn’t just talking to her?  When was the last time he had a conversation with a woman that used polysyllabic words or started sentences with something other than “But Toooony, I want…”?  

So, in conclusion, we decide that it’s not cheating if your girlfriend weighs more than you and she’s not pregnant.  But Romo needs to get better at cheating if he’s ever going to have anything else to do this time of year.

Tags: Dallas Cowboys, Jessica Simpson, NFL, Super Bowl, Tony Romo, Troy Aikman

4 Comments to Tony Romo Too Good for Fatties/Discretion

Ashlee Simpson
January 30, 2009

LEAVE JESSICA ALONE!

Bill Clinton
January 30, 2009

I’d still hit it

Mean Joe
January 30, 2009

What? No pic of the girl Romo was drilling? Do some research you lazy bastard

Jessica
February 13, 2009

Jessica Simpson is hot. Let’s see what you look like. Probably have a 3 inch dick and an ugly ass face.

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