Jason Campbell Better Watch His Back

Chase Daniel: Maker of fat frowny faces. Eater of Boogers.

ESPN is running a story today about how Jason Campbell dodged some bullets when the Washington Redskins weren’t able to close the deal on acquiring Jay Cutler and later Mark Sanchez. 

Well Bootlegger Sports says: Don’t get too comfortable, Mr. Campbell.  Because in case you hadn’t heard, one Chase Daniel has signed with the Redskins.  That’s right.  The booger-eating battler from Southlake, the whiny warrior of Missouri, the pouting prince from the Big Twelve is donning the burgundy and gold.

Apparently the Washington front office was so upset at not being able to land their first two choices that they picked a perfect combination of the two.  In Daniel they get the narcissism of Sanchez and the big, fat face of Cutler.

So Jason Campbell better not take anything for granted here, and say things like “those Make a Wish kids have about the same chance of making this team as Chase Daniel.”  or “Have you seen how fat his head is?  I think he’ll have to practice with an offensive lineman’s helmet.”

Because that would make Chase angry, and you don’t want to see Chase angry.

Not because he gets better or anything, he just gets all splotchy and blubbery and stuff.  And nobody wants to see that.  So watch it, Campbell.

Tags: Chase Daniel, football, Missouri, NFL, Washington Redskins

Chase Daniel is Blackmailing Her

This doesn't add up

Did you watch the Alamo Bowl?  I know, it was terrible.  Missouri mailed it in and still beat a terrible Big 10 team blah blah blah.  The highlight for everyone was undoubtedly the repeated shots of Daniel’s family, which included his hot ass sister.  But wait, that wasn’t his sister.

It’s actually Blaire Vandiver who’s been dating butterball booger-eater for some time now.  I get that starting QB’s for big time teams can pull in kitty well above their level and I get that Missouri probably doesn’t have the highest concentration of quality sausage (after all I don’t go to school there… ZING) but damn. 

That’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that Chase is blackmailing poor Blaire.  What could he have on her?  My best guess is a sextape where she drunkenly gargles his balls.  God knows she wouldn’t want that to get out.

Now her only hope is that he stumbles into a starting job in the NFL (don’t laugh Dan Orlovsky was a starter this year) and she ends up with a cushy gig in a mansion.  That’s when yours truly will come calling to take the boredom away.

Tags: Blaire Vandiver, Chase Daniel, football, Missouri, NCAA