The Thunder and Hornets Got Awkward

He looks mad, I knew we shouldn't have gotten the pinata

The Oklahoma City Thunder and New Orleans Hornets decided to swap Joe Smith and Chris Wilcox for Tyson Chandler a couple days ago, while the rest of the NBA yawned.  Now comes news that puts the league right to sleep, Chandler can’t pass a physical and the deal is off.  So the players get to head back to the teams that tried to get rid of them.  Oh no, that’s going to be soooo uncomfortable.  People make it sound like Tyson walked in on a party celebrating his absence. 

Chris Paul probably brought ice while Byron Scott got the cake and Hilton Armstrong hung a banner that said “Good Riddance to Tyson Chandler.”  Just when the party was getting into full swing, Tyson probably walked in and the music made that needle scratch sound… even though they were listening to music from someone’s IPod.  Things got even more awkward when David West drunkenly stumbled out of the closet with a half-dressed Mrs. Chandler. 

I would love to tell you there was a similar scene at the Thunder’s offices but let’s be honest, they’re the Thunder, they can’t put a party together.  They’d all sit around and hope Kevin Durant took care of everything.  He would come close, but probably run out of time before he got all the balloons blown up.  Then Russell Westbrook would drop the cake out the window and the party would be ruined.  Also, Robert Swift would be there and nobody wants to party with that guy.

Tags: Byron Scott, Chris Paul, Chris Wilcox, David West, Hilton Armstrong, Joe Smith, Kevin Durant, NBA, New Orleans Hornets, Oklahoma City Thunder, Robert Swift, Russell Westbrook, Tyson Chandler

M-I-Z- Boo to You

You can play, and get suspended, but who's your cousin?

Missouri basketball has gone straight down the crapper in the past few seasons.  I mean, their high point involved Quin Snyder, so yeah, I think it’s safe to say they’ve been pretty terrible.  And it seems to be getting worse for the Tigers as one player gets caught lying about his relatives and another player gets booted from the team, essentially for being a terrible driver. 

Miguel Paul was featured in a Colombia Missourian (inventive name) last year talking about his famous cousin Chris Paul and how he’s been influenced by the NBA star.  But when a Missouri TV station tried to run a story about the cousins, Chris Paul said he’d never heard of or met Miguel. 

Well then, I know “cousin” has become a fairly loose term lately.  For instance, some people claim to be cousins when in actuality they have no actual relation between them, and they only know each other because their parents were friends.  But I don’t think you can claim a cousin when you’ve never met any member of their family.  Can you?  I’d really like to know because I think if you can, then I may have some rich and famous cousins to start claiming.  Who knows Steve Jobs number?  Maybe it’s not too late to get into his will.

Then there’s Leo Lyons, who was pulled over for not having his lights on, couldn’t provide proof of insurance and coincidentally had a misdemeanor warrant out for him for not paying a previous ticket.  Read all about it here. 

Leo has been suspended indefinitely from the Missouri basketball team but I imagine that he’ll be reinstated just in time to play Kansas, Texas or Oklahoma. 

This seems like a stiff penalty Coach Mike Anderson is laying on Lyons (lying on Lyons?  lying on Layons?) though.  He didn’t shoot anyone or steal anything.  I thought it was an NCAA rule that you couldn’t suspend players for misdemeanors.  If Coach is willing to kick Lyons out the door, then Paul better watch his back.  Lying is a serious offense too… or at least as serious as driving with your lights off.

Tags: Chris Paul, Kansas, Leo Lyons, Miguel Paul, Mike Anderson, Missouri, Oklahoma, Quin Snyder, Texas