Wall Street Journal is Wrong, Stupid

Cleveland even turned on LeBron for rooting for the Yanks.

It turns out that the New York Yankees aren’t the most hated team in baseball.  The Cleveland Indians are.  That’s what the Wall Street Journal would have you believe.  But, keep in mind that they are clearly witless and the sciency algorithm they used to come to that conclusion was built by the Nielsen Company.  Those are the same people who keep telling me that NCIS is TV’s best show and Two and a Half Men is a big hit.  It’s believable unless you have a television and a brain…the brain part is optional I guess.

Similarly, the Indians being the most hated team in baseball is also believable unless you’ve ever watched baseball, talked with anyone about baseball or even seen a picture of a baseball.  Otherwise, the Indians would be the team that people remember for being in Major League or have forgotten about entirely.

The Yankees, on the other hand, are openly hated by everyone who doesn’t consider themselves a Yankee fan.  Unless Yankees fans have silently become the majority of America, that would make them the most hated team in MLB.  This same study would probably have us believe that Oregon State, not Duke, is college basketball’s most hated team.

The Yanks didn’t even finish 2nd, but rather 5th.  Actually, that part is kind of funny.  The Yankees can’t handle finishing 5th in anything.  Hank Steinbrenner has likely already made some furious phone calls to try to figure out how they can finish higher next year.

‘Get Barry Bonds in my office by the end of the day and put out a press release that we’re instituting segregated seating!’

As for the most liked teams, how about the Giants and A’s.  Clearly, most liked is not the phrase to use here.  Most ignored or most apathetic fan base maybe, but not most liked.  The more I think about it, the more I realize how ridiculously stupid this study is.  Some asshole decided this would be a good idea, then at the pitch meeting, people who are less retarded flatly shot him down because why waste money on a study when the answer is plainly known.

‘I intend to use this expensive study to find out who MLB’s most hated team is.’

‘It’s the Yankees, Dave.’

‘But I’m going to use mathematical algorithms to…’

‘The Yankees.’

‘But maybe…’

‘Nope, the Yankees dipshit.’

So poor old Dave had to go figure out a formula that wouldn’t return a result of the Yankees in first place.  That’s actually why this report is just now coming out with baseball season already in full swing.  Dave spent two months staring at the results of his other studies that said ‘the Yankees are the most hated team, dumbass.’

Tags: baseball, Cleveland Indians, MLB, New York Yankees

One Team’s Trash is Cleveland’s Indians

Manny+10 years, 30 pounds, and 2 feet of hair to Cleveland?

The Cleveland Indians have started the 2009 season 1-5.  Even though it’s already looking dismal for fans, they do have something to look forward to… the return of the 2000 team!

Manny Ramirez has been nostalgic lately and says he would welcome a return to the team that drafted him.  Apparently, the whim initially struck him during Spring Training when he told fellow-former-Indian Jim Thome that they should head back to the reservation next season. 

The 2000 Indians team was the last Cleveland squad to feature both Manny and Thome and won 90 games.  They missed the playoffs and Ramirez bolted for Boston. 

Ten years later, that team could still compete.  In 2000, Thome socked 37 homers, netted 106 RBIs and batted .269.  In 2008, his numbers were only slightly lower. 

The Manny of 2000 went for 38/122/.351, which compares favorably to his 2008 totals. 

Adding Thome and Ramirez to next season’s Indians could add some much needed veteran leadership and power to the line-up.  I am a little worried about Thome and Travis Hafner being in the same place at the same time, however.  Either the universe will collapse on itself when they meet, or Travis will demand Thome pay the thousands of dollars of unpaid child-support he owes Mama Hafner.

Along with 38-year-old Manny and 40-year-old Thome, why not mine more talent from the 2000 club?  Omar Vizquel is still active and will be ready for a resurgence at 43, Richie Sexson is already available and even though he’s only going to be 36, he’s been playing like he’s 40 for 2 years.  The Alomars are probably dying to get back into baseball with Roberto only 42 and Sandy 44, although based on recent news Robby might just be dying.  Dave Justice will only be 44 (by the way, happy B-Day tomorrow Dave) and Kenny Lofton will only be 43… oh wait, Cleveland already tried to bring him back in 2007.

Whether they pursue most of the roster or only Manny and Thome, the Indians could use some veterans.  This year’s team features no players over 35 and we’ve already seen how well youth is serving them.

Tags: baseball, Cleveland Indians, David Justice, Jim Thome, Kenny Lofton, Manny Ramirez, MLB, Omar Vizquel, Richie Sexson, Roberto Alomar, Sandy Alomar, Travis Hafner

MLB Network Is Off To A Bad Start

MLB Network will miss the 15 minutes before we start hating Sox fans again

I realize this is the third media-related post in a row, but I don’t choose who looks stupid each day.  I just read someone else’s story and then get libelin’.  The Major League Baseball Network has only been on the air for a few weeks, but they’re already screwing up like pros.  You may remember way back when (literally minutes ago) we reported about some asshole’s problem with the network hiring commentators who didn’t grow up in a monastery.  Or something like that, I’ll admit I didn’t “read” it, but Jim Bowden and I agree that skimming is way better.  Now comes the report of the first live game telecast on MLBN.  At least, most of a game. 

The Giants and Indians exhibition game from Arizona was joined 15 minutes after the first pitch thanks to the network’s decision to run “The Greatest Hitting Seasons of All-Time” in its entirety.  I’m the first one to back the network’s decision since exhibition games aren’t exactly riveting television and the Giants’ fans are probably better off remembering Willie Mays than realizing who is currently on the roster.  I am a bit worried about the network’s ability to show regular season games, however. 

If MLBN joins the first game of the season 15 minutes late, fans could miss quite a bit.  They could miss Adam Dunn not leading the league in strike outs.  They could miss Rocco Baldelli’s entire season before being put on the DL.  They could miss the Royal’s playoff hopes disappearing.   They could miss the part of the year where Manny Ramirez actually cares.  Well, I guess Dodger fans are probably curious about why anyone would want to watch the first 15 minutes of a game, but the rest of those are valid. 

Please MLBN, don’t screw up your broadcasts of the sport that you specialize in.  You wouldn’t want Cubs’ fans to miss a second of their historic season would you?  It’s going to be their 101st straight year without a championship.  I’m sorry did you think I meant something else?

Tags: Adam Dunn, baseball, Chicago Cubs, Cleveland Indians, Jim Bowden, Kansas City Royals, Los Angeles Dodgers, Manny Ramirez, MLB, MLB Network, Rocco Baldelli, San Francisco Giants, Willie Mays