French Muslims Won’t Play With French Gays

My, what big balls you have...

Before we begin, I’d like to address something.  I know there are a lot of France Haters out there.  It’s the stylish thing to do at this time.  But I’d like to remind our readers that without our froggy friends across the sea, we would never have stories like this.

A French Muslim soccer club, Bebel, has refused to play Paris Foot Gay (Not kidding) in an upcoming scheduled match, due to a team policy of “No Homo”.  The Gay Foots say they received an email from the Bebels explaining why they wouldn’t be playing:

“Sorry, but because of the name of your team and in keeping with the principles of the team, which is a team of practising Muslims, we cannot play against you… Our convictions are stronger than a game of football.  Sorry to have informed you so late”

I can see why they might have waited so long to cancel.  Who could have known that a team called Paris Foot Gay would be comprised of a bunch of gay guys?  It’s pretty ambiguous.  I just recommend that they look ahead to their match with the Avignon Pre-op Tranny Muslim Molesters, and plan accordingly.

Tags: Gay, soccer

The People Have Spoken

Troy is pointing at Joe here... You just can't see it in the picture.

Combine a scandal of misused tax dollars with years of soulless, pretentious, judgemental and obnoxious announcing, and you get what we’re seeing around the Internet today.  A call for Joe Buck to be terminated as a broadcaster at FOX Sports immediately.  At the very least that he be taken off the top spot as an NFL announcer. 

I guess that’s fine.  I was hoping he’d take pretzel eating lessons from George Bush, shooting lessons from Plaxico Burress, plane flying lessons from Cory Lidle, horse riding lessons from Christopher Reeve, or skiing lessons from Sonny Bono, but with the exception of the former Giant receiver and former President, Joe missed his chance to ever do anything exciting or meaningful with his life. 

I do find it funny that Troy Aikman and Tim McCarver were also implicated in this mess, but that Joe Buck is the only one hated enough to warrant such a strong call for his termination. 

So get out there and let FOX know how much you hate Joe Buck.  Maybe it will work and maybe it won’t.  If they see money in the decision good things could happen…It worked with Family Guy didn’t it?

UPDATE:  Troy Aikman has denied that he or Joe had any knowledge of anything improper going on.  Is this because they are both that oblivious to what is going on around them?  After hearing these two clowns in the booth that wouldn’t surprise me.  Maybe Troy Boy felt that they both deserved this sort of treatment.  Also not out of realm of possibilities.  But I’m betting that it was because they were too busy staring into each others’ eyes to notice anything so silly as armed federal escorts.  Ah… l’amour…

Tags: Douchebagery, Gay, Joe Buck, MLB, NFL, Tim McCarver, Troy Aikman

We Can’t Wait For Old Age

I’d rather get punched in the dick than be forced to listen to even one more game announced by Joe Buck.  So, while wishing him a swift and painful death during the Vikings - Cardinals game, I decided to see just how soon we can expect Joe to kick it.  And you wanna know something?  That douche-nozzle isn’t even 40 yet.  God Damn.

His dad lived to be something like 100 years old.  We could be stuck with this fucktard for 50+ more years.  That’s right.  This jerk-off has to ruin Baseball AND football.  That’s ten months of this arrogant shit faucet talking down to you for the rest of your life. 

But it isn’t enough for Joe to do everything in his power to make you stick a screw-driver through your ear all by himself.  FOX has to team him up with CorkyTim McCarver in the summer so he sounds less stupid by comparison, and then Troy Aikman in the fall so he sounds like less of a cock-lovingpussy.  So, for instance, when he mentions that he’d rather be watching Dancing with the Stars, or Touching the Children, or whatever it is pompous butt-fucking pedophiles watch, instead of football, it doesn’t sound as homoerotic, because Troy Boy just talked about getting lost in Tony Romo’s eyes. I’d rather listen to deaf retards have sex on top of a bag of wet cats.

My only hope is that all three of them decide to attend the Cory Lidle School of Flying this off season.

Tags: Announcer, Cory Lidle, FOX, Gay, Joe Buck, MLB, NFL, Retard, Tim McCarver, Troy Aikman