gymnastics
‘Her Hind-Quarters Were So Strong’
God bless The Onion. They get away with so much while the rest of us have to fear the backlash from the most innocent Mormon jokes. Everyone with a sense of humor, which conspicuously leaves out Shawn Johnson’s friends and family, is laughing at this video today. I actually would have thought Nastia Liukin would’ve been the subject of this video. Why the long face, Nastia?
Johnson and here entourage, wait do gymnasts have entourages? Do Iowans know what an entourage is? Does Iowa get HBO? Anyway, they should be happy that someone remembers Shawn’s name in a non-Olympic year. Gymnasts are like that shirt you bought and can’t quite get up the courage to wear, so it just sits in your closet and every four years you bring it out, look at it, try it on and decide you still can’t pull it off. Although, male gymnasts just stay in the closet. ZING! Don’t beat me up, fellas.
Bootlegged from FanHouse
Smell of Victory, Taste of Mat
Here we have aspiring gymnast Connor Westrick and his stirring dismount, probably something like a 2 point deduction unless you’re Chinese. This isn’t new and men’s gymnastics is right on the cusp of being a sport, like checkers and underwater humping, but it’s pretty great stuff.
I can guarantee you that Connor’s dad laughs at this video daily.
“See boy, I done told you ya should have played football. At least then your injuries would be respectable. Now you just went head first into a puddle of guy’s sweat… just like your mother’s trip to Cabo.”

