Jeff Suppan is Cheap

The value of Suppan is 4 times higher with the bat

The Milwaukee Brewers are currently a game up in the NL Central, but their fans aren’t exactly pleased.  Rather than celebrating the team’s resolve after losing C.C. Sabathia and Ben Sheets, they are selling players at about 10 cents per pound.  That’s roughly double what your local Chinese restaurant pays for stray dogs and 5 times better than what the Indians got in exchange for Mark DeRosa. 

Starting pitcher Jeff Suppan should actually feel pretty good about himself that he’s being auctioned off on Ebay.  Bill Hall is being given away for free as an incentive to buy.  How do you think he feels?  He’s hitting over the Mendoza line and he’s commanding less on the open market than a 34-year-old pitcher whose ERA is flirting with five.  I must say though, it’s a cunning move by the seller.  I wasn’t really interested in buying a dude on Ebay, especially one who doesn’t look like he’s into the kinky stuff…wait, what?  But the inclusion of Bill Hall has me intrigued.  A related offer is how I ended up owning a cigar store Indian and Glen Allen Hill. 

I can’t stress enough how great a deal this is.  Right now, for less than $25 you could own a game used MLB pitcher.  It would cost you more to sponsor his baseball-reference.com page.  Imagine all the things you could use him for.  A conversation starter at parties, he could mow your grass, he could serve up meatballs for batting practice (that’s his specialty).  Besides, if you don’t buy him, Topps trading cards probably will and you know what they’ll do with him, chop him up and insert a piece of him into a limited edition set.  Hey, I got the first knuckle of his pinky finger!

Bootlegged from Home Run Derby

Tags: baseball, Bill Hall, Jeff Suppan, Milwaukee Brewers, MLB