Mike Singeltary Must Be A Cat Person

You gonna get raped... sorry, that's the old me

Michael Vick will be released from prison in July and the Falcons have been talking about trading his rights for about a week.  Rumors are flying throughout the NFL about which team would be desperate enough be courageous enough to add him to the roster and it looks like the San Francisco 49ers are the early front-runners. 

The 9ers could add free agent QB Jeff Garcia instead, but he’s already played for them once and they didn’t win the Super Bowl.  He had his chance, let’s hand the keys over to a convicted felon.  

Head Coach Mike Singeltary won’t say whether or not he would welcome Vick into his locker room, but he’s been to practice and he’s seen Shaun Hill and Alex Smith play.  At this point, I think he would entertain the idea of signing OJ Simpson if he thought he could still run. 

Singeltary is a defensive minded coach, but I’m sure he realizes that Hill’s stutter step shuffle style of backing away from center isn’t fundamentally sound.  Mike Vick is the future, San Francisco. 

I know all of you 49ers’ fans are booing this idea right now, but give it time.  In a few months when you’ve seen a completed pass for the first time in 2 seasons you’ll be arguing about who was the first to champion Vick. 

Also, I’m sure ESPN is secretly praying for this to happen.  They’d love to send Pedro Gomez to San Francisco for the entire football season so he can give us daily updates about how Vick isn’t breaking any laws.  Then, when everyone comes to terms with the arrangement, Mike and Mike will have some big interview with Vick and Singeltary and probably invite Mike Ditka along too.  Night of Mikes they’ll call it and everyone will vomit in their mouths but watch anyway.  It will be just like a Tom Cruise movie.

Tags: Alex Smith, ESPN, football, Jeff Garcia, Michael Vick, Mike Singeltary, NFL, San Francisco 49ers, Shaun Hill

Mike Martz Has Been Tagged and Bagged

Martz threatened to eat his own finger

Former NFL coach Mike Martz has taken a team to the Super Bowl, won a Super Bowl as an offensive coordinator and failed miserably ever since.  He was fired by Mike Singeltary and the 49ers after running their offense last season and even though it’s been rumored he will get Arizona’s OC job, he’s fed up with this crap.

“People are determined to keep me out of the league”, Martz said.  Those people must be as bad at their job as you have been for the past 3 years, Mike. 

Martz is currently unemployed, but trying to make it back into the NFL.  Logically, telling your potential employers that everyone in the league hates you might not make the most sense.  In fact, that may be the worst tactic to land a new job since the Joad family headed west. 

So Martz appears to be a “high-maintenance lunatic” for the rest of his career.  But isn’t that better than people looking at the jobs he’s done in his recent career and calling him a “high-maintenance loser”?

Tags: Arizona Cardinals, football, Mike Martz, Mike Singeltary, NFL, San Francisco 49ers