Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson In All His Glory, Plus Cannolis
We here at Bootlegger Sports almost never post on weekends. In fact, we’ve taken to only working a 4-day week. And actually, we don’t really work the 4-days but just lazily throw crap against the wall and see what sticks. We’re like your asylum-ridden sister that way. But once in a long while we, by which I mean I, come across something so moving, inspirational or incredible that I have to post it immediately. You can tell I’m excited about it because I’m typing this while fighting off a mild hangover that prevents me from using a good portion of my vocabulary and apparently makes it nearly impossible for me to type the letter ‘J’. It’s a pain in the ass because I have to decide whether I’d like to spend 5-minutes trying to type a word with a ‘J’ in it, or spend 10-minutes trying to remember what a ‘J’-less synonym for the word would be. Oh right, I was talking about something.
The video above is called ‘Tea with Tyson’ and if that isn’t enough to make you close all your other browser windows (except the one downloading porn…I’m not unrealistic), crank the audio and go full screen then I guess we’re just two completely different people. Like I am a leading candidate for Times Sexiest Man Alive and am the proud owner of the keys to 17 different metropolitan cities and you enjoy eating garbage straight from the can and occasionally allow your cat to give you a tongue bath. These are facts.
Other facts gleaned from this video are that Mike Tyson believes that toast “has its purpose”, “Earl Grey sucks”, and he’s had some painful experiences with cannolis. I don’t pretend to know where this video came from or who the host guy is, adjust professional blogger T-shirt, but this is good shit. You wouldn’t find this information out after 12 Tom Rinaldi interviews.
I would say more but it’s time for me to go to Applebee’s to bland myself to death. Good-bye cruel world, you can find my last will and testament written out on table 24 in spinach artichoke dip.
Bootlegged from iheartchaos
Well F.
The Late Exodus Tyson as a Baby With Mike and Mother
Mike Tyson’s 4-year-old daughter, Exodus, was pronounced dead today following a tragic accident in the family home. Yesterday, she was found by her 7-year-old brother entangled in the chords of the family treadmill.
Don’t expect any jokes or light-heartedness about this girl’s death in this story, because you won’t find any. Everyone knows Mike has been an easy target of ridicule through the years, due to the fact that he’s absolutely crazy and talks like an extra from the chimney sweep scene in Mary Poppins. But any and all criticism of the former boxing champ is irrelevant when discussing his family.
It seems that the last few years have seen Mike make an honest attempt at turning his life around as best as can be expected for someone with his past. I suspect the birth of his youngest child played a large roll in this, and I know we all sincerely hope that Mike and his family can find a way to cope with this.
A documentary about Mike Tyson was released last month and it sounds pretty amazing… But it doesn’t appear that any jokes about his voice, face tat, jacked teeth, or craziness will be appropriate for quite some time.
I hate it when shitty things happen to cute little kids.
I’m Already In Line For Tyson
Just doing this for 90 minutes would make Tyson a success
I’ve had a soft spot in my heart for Mike Tyson for as long as I can remember. I loved to hate his unbeatable ass (eventually beaten by Marisa Miller’s) in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out, loved to fear him while he bit off Evander Holyfield’s ear and loved to pity him as he went bat-shit crazy and bankrupt. Now, I can love to watch him in new documentary Tyson, premiering this week at the Sundance Film Festival.
Credit to Sports Crackle Pop for finding a video of Mike talking about the film and his new fear of success.
And FilmDrunkhas more information on what will certainly go down as the greatest documentary of all time, at least until Michael Moore and Morgan Spurlock make a documentary about them fighting to the death.
How has no one thought to put a camera on Mike Tyson 24/7 before? I mean, besides law enforcement. With all the terrible subjects of reality shows, I can’t believe Tyson wasn’t getting approached by every network. Unlike most reality shows, Tyson wouldn’t need a script. Just send him on everyday errands and watch him create magic aka scaring white people.
I’m so excited for this documentary that it will undoubtedly disappoint me. Unless, of course, Mike Tyson fights at least one random person on the street, there are an abundance of reactions shots from everyone who comes in contact with him and there’s a trip to Vegas that involves multiple sexual advances from Mike. Actually, I’m pretty sure this is going to be exactly what I’m expecting.
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