Puma is Trying To Kill Usain Bolt

It's a trap Usain! Run for your life!

Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has been forced out of a track meet in his home country this weekend after he sustained minor injuries in a car accident.  The record-setting track star lost control of his BMW M3 Coupe and went of the road in St. Catherine, Jamaica. 

He’s said to be fine except for some cuts on his feet he sustained when he stepped in a thorn bush while exiting his totaled vehicle.  Because Jamaicans don’t wear shoes, you see.  Those cuts will keep him out of the meet this weekend and possibly cause him to pull out of a 150m street race in England in May. 

In Bolts words: “Mi good man.  Mi alright, a just few cuts man.  Mi alright.”  Seriously.

Reports say it had been raining just before the accident but no clear cause is cited for the one-car crash.  I’ll go ahead and say it though.  Puma wants Usain Bolt out of the picture. 

The athletic apparel company sponsors both the Jamaican track team and Usain Bolt, so their reasons for bringing him harm are unknown.  Still, it was Puma who gave Bolt the BMW to congratulate him on his Olympic success.  He’s a sprinter.  He’s all about speed.  Obviously, he’s going to drive the shit out of any sports car you give him and end up killing himself.  There’s a reason his other car is a 2002 Honda.  So why would Puma give the face of their company an avenue to sure-death? 

I can only imagine that they want to capitalize on their star going out as a hero and a legend before he tarnishes his name.  He’s already admitted to smoking pot, which probably made him a bigger hero in Jamaica, but may have hurt him slightly in America.  It’s probably only a matter of time before he does something that makes the public turn on him.  Puma is just looking out for their investment.  And by looking out, I mean trying to kill him.

Tags: Jamaica, olympics, Puma, track and field, Usain Bolt