Ronaldo, Over the Limit, Nobody Cares

Drunk? This guy? Never.

Manchester United Striker is getting a lot of press today and amazingly it’s not because he’s prancing around some beach with a supermodel.  What?  Right, it’s also not because of something he did on the soccer field… but you already knew that, haha!  Ronaldo is making headlines because he totaled his Ferrari (now how will he get to practice?) in a tunnel at the Manchester airport.  The cause of the accident?  Police are unsure so you can assume drunk. 

Authorities are saying that inquiries are continuing on an accident that involved no other cars or hazardous road conditions.  I assume that’s British for “We’re trying to figure out how to close the case and keep Ronaldo on the field, out of jail.”  He had just gotten off a chartered plane and was being followed by a teammate.  Sounds like a perfect recipe for drunk driving.  You don’t deserve to fly on a private jet if you don’t get tanked while doing so, and “I’ll follow you to make sure you get home alright” sounds exactly like drunk reasoning.  What are you going to do, ram the cop car that tries to pull me over?

This story is being reported by The Sun and marks the first time I realized they actually wrote articles.  Check it out here for sweet mangled steel, but boobless, action.  Also note the related story on the right.  Apparently, Ronaldo nearly crashed his Audi about a year ago and again may have been drunk.  I think the Brits know for sure, but the article only contains about two sentences that make sense to me.

Tags: Cristiano Ronaldo, drunk, EPL, Manchester United, The Sun