Where Enraged Announcing Happens

Today, Oklahoma is where the rage comes sweeping down the plains.  Last night, the Thunder lost in overtime at Utah on a controversial no-call that went against none other than Kevin “Michael F*cking Jordan” Durant.  If you think that this happening was anything less than a travesty and a crime against humanity, GTFO or face the wrath of the Thunder’s television broadcaster.

Reportedly, the Thunder would have been only a half-game out of second place in the Western conference had they won, but instead find themselves in sixth.  I didn’t do that research, nor am I going to check into it but I can’t believe that’s true.  The way the announcer reacted, the Thunder had to be on the verge of claiming the NBA title.  That win had to be about to propel them to the championship of the world and with the loss, the team instead will be disbanded and forced to wander the Earth alone.

I guess if it is imperative to use the word “tragic” when referring to a non-call in a regular season NBA game, we’ll just have to adjust language accordingly.  For example, now when you stub your toe, you can tell people what a tragic event it was.  But when referring to the Holocaust, you’ll have to say it was “supercalifragilisticexpialihorrible”.

Because this is an NBA announcer getting stupid, the clip is reminiscent to this gem courtesy of the Houston Rockets from earlier this year.  But, the way his rage slowly and steadily builds until he’s ready to go on a killing spree reminds me more of the lovable Vikings announcer who wants to hold Brad Childress’s head under water until the bubbles stop.

Tags: basketball, Kevin Durant, NBA, Oklahoma City Thunder, Utah Jazz

Carlos Boozer Hit Hard By Rough Economy

Are those 22"s? You poor bastard

Even though it’s kind of a douchey thing to say, I’ve always wanted to counter somebody bringing up the struggling economy with “ain’t no recession at my house!”  I’d be contractually obligated to follow that up with high fives and by ‘making it rain’.  I suppose if you want to get technical, there isn’t a recession at my house.  But there sure as hell is a recession at the overpass where I sleep.  Thank God those crackheads chipped in for Internet service. 

Carlos Boozer could presumably say ‘ain’t no recession at the Boozer house’, but it doesn’t seem likely.  You might be thinking, oh he must be too humble or he doesn’t want to rub it in for the people who are really struggling.  Yeah, Carlos went to Duke.  The only time he cares about the less fortunate is when they are late bringing his car around at the country club.  The real reason he’s not bragging about his financial status is because he is under the impression that he’s having a tough time of it.  I guess $13-million per year doesn’t stretch as far as it used to. 

“It’s still tough when you get hit by the taxes we get hit by. We’re all going through a tough time right now financially, but at the same time to live in a place where you don’t have to pay state tax, you can leave a little bit more of the money that you earn in your bank account”

That would be Boozer’s rationale for wanting to bolt from Utah and join the Heat.  He wants to keep more money in his bank account.  I’m sure those NBA fans across the country who would like to put some money into a bank account understand completely.  I never really thought about how hard it would be to have to pay an incredible amount of money to the government each year.  Boozer probably paid more money in taxes last year than I’ve made in my life, that must have really taken its toll.  You know, it’s true what they say, the more money you come across, the more problems you see.  That’s why I’ve decided to stop playing the lottery…paying all the tax that comes with it would probably kill me. 

I feel bad for Carlos, I really do, but there’s a negative side to his comments.  All those poor souls who have been scraping by in this economy, collecting unemployment and living paycheck to paycheck just lost all hope.  They are trying to make ends meet in their minimum wage jobs and now they find out that even $13-million per year isn’t enough to get by on.  Even if they made roughly 900-times what they make now, they’d still have it tough.  America, your lower class is officially on suicide watch.  Somebody should tell them to move to Florida so they don’t have to pay state tax.

Bootlegged from TrueHoop

Tags: basketball, Carlos Boozer, Miami Heat, NBA, Utah Jazz

Beer and Kickball- That’s What Portland Does

Underage girls need not apply

Portland Trailblazer Channing Frye has lost plenty of playing time this season with Greg Oden healthy.  So much, in fact, that he’s been able to plan a charity kickball game for the summer. 

Ed. Note: Channing fancies himself a blogger but I didn’t notice a single sex joke or picture of Marisa Miller.

For folks in the Portland area, be sure to tell Frye what the one thing you would need at a kickball game is.  He suggests food, beer or a roller coaster.  I suggest liquor, ecstacy and Megan Fox in a cheerleader uniform… and maybe some privacy. 

It sounds like Channing has one of the best gigs around.  He’s getting paid millions to sit on the bench at NBA games, travel with the team and isn’t expected to win them games… he’s just like Vinny Del Negro.

Now there’s talk that Frye’s kickball game could merge with a Portland area group’s attempt at breaking the world’s record for longest kickball game.  The current record is 25 hours, which is apparently shared by many people, including Utah Jazz small forward Kyle Korver.  So, an innocent, leisurely kickball game is turning into a way to compete against other NBA players.  Could kickball games be the new cars and houses… pro athletes all trying to make theirs bigger, more expensive and crazier than everyone else’s? 

Wait until Kobe Bryant gets wind of this.  He’ll be the greatest kickball player who has ever lived.  He’ll probably kick the ball over the Pacific Ocean.

Tags: Channing Frye, Greg Oden, Kobe Bryant, Kyle Korver, Marisa Miller, Megan Fox, NBA, Portland Trailblazers, Utah Jazz, Vinny Del Negro

Real Fans Bring Whistles

The above video is from a recent Jazz-Warriors game and as you can see, a fan’s whistle gave the Jazz a free dunk.  From Kyle Korver no less.  Obviously, the power of the whistle is quite strong. 

You may have also remembered in the BCS title game when a whistle, apparently from the stands, caused Tim Tebow to stop, mid-canonization, and forced Florida to kick a field goal. 

So if a whistle can allow a white man to dunk and a God to fail, why aren’t we all bringing whistles to the game?  Maybe a whistle could’ve saved the Detroit Lions from 0-16, or helped the Dallas Cowboys make the playoffs?  You think a whistle could propel the Oklahoma City Thunder out of the NBA cellar?  Do not doubt the power of the whistle.

Tags: basketball, BCS, Dallas Cowboys, Detroit Lions, Florida, Golden State Warriors, Kyle Korver, NBA, Oklahoma City Thunder, Tim Tebow, Utah Jazz