Clock Strikes Midnight on Strasburg…at Midnight UPDATE

The Nationals select...a migrane, courtesy of Scott Boras

During the college baseball regular season, Stephen Strasburg was incredible and people called him perhaps the greatest college pitcher of all time.  Folks tried to find a word to encompass the incredible stupidity that would have to plague the Washington Nationals if they were to pass on him with the number one pick in the amateur draft.  Just pay him $20-million and get him in the big leagues as soon as possible, they said.  Then the rumors started that Strasburg’s price tag was closer to the $50-million range.  ‘Hmm, the Nats are screwed’ became the general consensus.  Signing the San Diego State phenom means handcuffing yourself to an unproven commodity and being unable to sign more proven free agents.  Not signing him means a PR nightmare and an admittance that your franchise is only willing to do whatever it takes if it doesn’t take money.

The Nationals have reportedly offered their number one pick what would be the biggest deal ever signed by a players taken in the amateur draft, but the negotiations continue.  Strasburg and super agent Scott Boras are demanding more money, while the Nats seem to have hit their limit.  One side will have to blink before midnight tonight, or the parties will part ways and the pitcher with the $50-million arm will likely wait for the 2010 draft.  As if being compared to Mark Prior wasn’t a bad enough omen, now Strasburg is putting himself into a category with Maurice Clarett.

Whether or not a deal is struck before this arbitrary deadline, it won’t be a good fit for either party involved.  Not because they’ve already ruined the relationship through the strenuous negotiating process, but because nothing positive comes out of decisions made just before midnight.  That’s how you end up going to the strip club that was recently re-opened after the hepatitis scare and is across the street from the scene of that triple homicide.  Business decisions made just before midnight are often even worse.  Those being something like signing contracts while visiting the previously mentioned titter, which make the club the official sponsor of your son’s Little League team.  I have a feeling that parents mothers aren’t going to be pleased with that one.

Baseball would do well to make all deadlines come in the mid-afternoon.  If you make it 5pm, deals are made solely because someone’s wife demands they be home before six or else.  If you make it 9am, it handicaps those of us who might have caught hepatitis or a bullet at the strip club last night.  Plus, you’d probably prefer I get this looked at before I shake your hand.

With this ridiculous midnight deadline, the Nats won’t be in the right frame of mind to point out that Cuban sensation Aroldis Chapman has pitched at a higher level than Strasburg, has similar abilities and is asking for similar money.  Instead, their best bargaining chip will probably be another round of lapdances if the kid will just sign the contract already.

UPDATE: The Nationals reached an agreement with Stephen Strasburg at 11:58 and change last night.  He’ll be getting significantly less than the rumored $50-million.  He’ll actually get just over $15.1-million over 4 years.  It’s a monster rookie contract to be sure, but it’s quite a letdown after someone threw out the $50-million number.  I’m sure Strasburg feels cheated, like $15-million is OK, but he had already picked out like 30 things from the Sky Mall catalogue that were going to cost him that much.  Now he has to decide which to put back, the sonar vacuum or the automatic shoe remover.

Tags: Aroldis Chapman, baseball, MLB, Stephen Strasburg, Washington Nationals

Lastings Milledge is Counting On Us

Lastings looks like an All-Star to me

Lastings Milledge is a baseball player… I guess.  He’s better than me and I’m guessing he’s better than you unless you are a major league player.  If you are, can I have your autograph and an interview?  If you aren’t, haha, you are worse than Lastings Milledge. 

Despite his obvious deficiencies on the diamond, however, the man who got his name because he was his mother’s last child (seriously) could be an All-Star.  The name though, not All-Star material.  C’mon, he couldnt’ have been Ultimate Milledge or at least DeLast? 

Since Milledge managed to be a starter in the bigs for a couple weeks, even though it was with the Nats, he was placed on the All-Star ballot as an option in the outfield.  Now, the campaigning has begun to get a player who has been demoted to triple-A ball into a game with baseball’s best and brightest. 

Does Lastings really have the pedigree to be receive a joke election to the All-Star game?  Let’s check the bio. 

This year in 7 games he hit .167 with a stolen base, an RBI and no extra-basehits.  Checks out so far. 

His career highlights include being the youngest player in the NL during the 2006 season, appearing in a rap song called ‘Bend Ya Knees’ by Manny D and giving his number 44 to Adam Dunn.  Combined with the name issue, I think he’s a perfect candidate. 

Lastings ‘Ultimate’ Milledge has already gotten one of my votes, but I get 24 more.  Combine that with your 25 and the 25 of the person you tell and the 25 of the person they tell and so on and we could realistically make Bud Selig come to my house to murder me.

You can vote here until July 2nd, so no rush.  There’s still plenty of time for you to do that “research” you planned on using the Internet for.

Tags: All-Star, baseball, Lastings Milledge, MLB, Washington Nationals

The Nationals Are Just Awful

Dukes revels in not being the bad guy for the first time in his life

You may have heard about Washington Nationals’ outfielder Elijah Dukes being fined $500 for being 5 minutes late to the ballpark after a charity event for a local Little League.  The Nats have been getting all kinds of bad press for that move.  Not here at Bootlegger Sports though.  We didn’t cover that story because, well, we knew it would get even worse, and of course, much, much more funny. 

The Little League where Dukes spoke and met with kids that fateful day has decided to pay his fine.  A non-profit organization that is the symbol of American youth is paying a big-leaguers fine that most feel is undeserved.  Oh yeah, this story just got interesting.  Let the shit-storm commence. 

President of the Great Falls Little League, Jim Mraz said “It’s not a question of whether this guy can afford the 500 bucks.  We’re just trying to send a message to our kids: He was here for us.  Now we’ve got to be there for him.”

You hear that Nationals?  They’re making it worse.  Honest, hard-working parents paid their own money to help a major leaguer, who they probably agree is over-paid, to set a good example for their kids.  I guess, since you have to order new uniforms anyway, you should probably just become the Washington Big Bad Wolves. 

There are no teams in MLB that could escape terrible PR like this, but with a good on-field product, fans tend to forget and forgive.  I have no idea what the Nats’ plan is, however.

Tags: baseball, douchebaggery, Elijah Dukes, Little League, MLB, Washington Nationals

Barry Bonds is Hunting For Suckers

Watch out Paula Abdul, Barry really needs a job

Former San Francisco Giants’ All-Star and false testimony enthusiast Barry Bonds has sent his agent on a spectacular mission.  Unlike the hunt for the Lost City of Gold or the journey to the Fountain of Youth, however, Jeff Borris’s mission has no hope of success.  He’s attempting to find Barry a job. 

For the next few weeks, Borris will be more annoying to MLB GM’s than PETA to, well, the rest of society.  The unlucky few who have been cornered by the agent or been forced to fire their secretaries for taking his call, have been quick enough to make up some lame excuse. 

Minnesota GM and possible Witness Protection member Bill Smith explained that his club just doesn’t have space for Bonds.  “We have 5 players for 3 outfield spots and a DH and we like all 5.”  Of course, he’s clearly lying considering one of those players is Jason Pridie and not even Jason Pridie likes Jason Pridie. 

Pittsburgh GM Neal Huntington denied Bonds a return to the Pirates by saying “we’re looking forward to building around our young players”.  To translate, he means they’re looking forward to another low pressure year in the cellar with a sweet draft pick as their reward. 

Walt Jocketty, now with Cincinnati, claimed ignorance when contacted about Bonds.  “Barry Bonds?  Never heard of him, uh, no this isn’t Walt, he’s, uh, dead, uh, forever, I think you have the wrong number, uh, que?

Washington Nationals president Stan Kasten told Borris he was busy trying to replace a GM.  When asked if Bonds could perhaps fill that position, Kasten responded “no, we tried a crooked GM already and it didn’t really work out.”

And so the hunt continues for Barry Bonds’ agent, who says “I’m just doing my due diligence.”  Once again translated to, “I’m just desperately trying to make some money off this cheating asshole.”

Tags: Barry Bonds, baseball, Bill Smith, Cincinnati Reds, Jason Pridie, Jeff Borris, Minnesota Twins, MLB, Neal Huntington, Pittsburgh Pirates, Stan Kasten, Walt Jocketty, Washington Nationals